LighterLife

I find it weird even admitting to this but I've started the LighterLife diet. As of today.

Half my brain is saying "this is what I need to get thin"..."this'll be the thing that does it."

Half my brain says "this is completely ridiculous"..."why are you doing this?!"

I guess the resulting weight loss will decide which half of my brain wins. I am doing this after hearing the success of my director at work so it's not a crazy whim.

So goodbye to delicious pizza...

 
and hello to, of what I've experienced so far, mush.

 
Ok so three out of the four meals weren't so bad (on the mush scale or average to horrendous). That was the porridge breakfast, chewy fudge snack bar and shepherds pie dinner but the soup I had at lunch was HORRENDOUS and I still have two more packs of it to eat, eurgh.

My weight today was 216lbs...let's see how this goes...

More of today's experience: hunger, rumbling stomach, dizziness, jaw clenchiness from hunger.

And so triathlon training starts

It was a lovely autumn day yesterday and I got off my bum and went for a run.

I ran for more than 5 minutes which, to be honest, I was impressed with in my current state of unfitness. It was 23 minutes running in total (with some breaks in which I stopped my watch) and a bit more time walking, covering about 2.2 miles.

Then on the way home I did something I have NEVER done before...I bought fruit to make fruit salad for breakfasts this week!!! Yeah, not so shocking but hopefully yummy. I don't think I've actually bought a melon before though - it's a brave new world people.

Anyway this was obviously far too much excitement for one morning so I went home and drunk about 3 cups of tea. After which some of my extended family turned up at my flat (including a nine year old who could "definitely" build a hula hoop tower taller than Big Ben but for engineering reasons he had to eat all the wonky hula hoops because they weren't structurally secure).

Once the family had disappeared home a friend came round a bought me a pretty candle they'd made.

And so triathlon training starts...

I'm actually going to start writing again

You may shake your head in disbelief but it's going to happen.

And here's why...I SIGNED UP FOR A TRIATHLON TODAY!

Why?! Why have I done such a thing?!

Well, I returned from South America last week (it was incredible, thanks for asking) and during a four day trek along the Inca trail to Machu picchu I remembered that I like this exercise stuff.

I really like it.

I like the feeling of leaning into the "burn" instead of resisting it, the feeling of accepting that you are out of breath and pushing harder. The feeling that your body can DO THINGS. And it can do them WELL. Grrrrr.

But I'm not going to lie, I also hate exercise. I hate the stupid burn, I hate feeling out of breath, I hate pushing harder. I can't do anything well, eurgh.

So why do I do these things to myself? I guess eventually the like of exercise wins over the hatred, and of course being able to prove the point, over and over, (mainly to myself) that I am not the fat kid any more and I am now in fact an awesome exercising machine is a huge added bonus.

Also peer pressure. Peer pressure is why I started running in the first place (I got asked to do a 10k with a friend) and is why I've just signed up to a triathlon (I got an email yesterday from a friend suggesting it).

And for the first time I'm not actually scared of training with the four friends who are doing this. I did a lot of swimming as a child, some competitively, so I feel relatively confident, even good about my abilities in the pool (stroke-wise, if not speed-wise) and the rest will take some hard work but I'll get there.

All in all, some exciting training lies ahead. And I plan to blog it all here...

Back once again with the renegade master

I've decided to start blogging again.

Why?
1. I'm 216lbs light now (oops)

2. I'm about to start the "Insanity" workout programme (scary) to achieve some of no. 3...

3. I've got an amazing South America trip and some weddings coming up and I wanna look hot hot hot

4. I'm not grabbing life by the horns (or whatever cheesy phrase you prefer) at the moment, I am mostly sitting round and moping (sometime about boys, i.e. the worst form of moping) or eating loads of chocolate icecream*

5. I have a, not fully decided, life goal of getting a working holiday visa for a year in Australia before I'm 31 and I think part of living the Australian dream is being a hot beach babe (stereotype much? I blame Home and Away and my new Australian housemate)
 
*the ice cream was worth it

So there we have it. The final reason is that it's nice to do some writing now and again that isn't science related, since my job is a 24/7 science writing extravaganza (more like 7.5 hours a day, but whatevs).

Goodbye gym

Today was the last day of my year's gym membership, and I didn't even go to the gym!

The incident yesterday upset my stomach a bit more than I thought. Couldn't sleep well last night due to feeling a bit off then felt a bit weird all day and decided not to push myself when in a weird state.

To be honest I'm a bit nervous to be gym-less (who am I?!). I've been awesome at getting to the gym so far in 2013 and now I have no gym on the way back from work, well, hopefully I won't have no exercise on the way back from work!

On the other hand I'm excited to break free of the oppression of the chain gym and explore what other gym classes are out there i.e. I'm excited to go to Frame and be a megacoolandslick dance star, weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, I love dance, but oh wow I'm bad at dance haha.

This weekend Frame have a Basic Barre a Beginner Music Video class on Sunday. I'm intrigued by Barre but more excited by Music Video, hmm. At the moment I think I will try Barre out of intrigue and do the Music Video one next Wednesday.

Other places on my class "to investigate" list are Golden Lane fitness centre in the Barbican, for some cheap classes, and the Runner's Yoga class (and possibly their other classes) at Good Vibes.

I will review places here as I visit them I guess and do comment with more London class recommendations if you see this!

In which I get told off at the gym

So today my body taught me a lesson...

and then a gym instructor gave me a lecture...

OK body, I get it, no crisps before the gym! (Yes I should have known that already but coldness and hunger led to poor choices...sorry body)

It had been a long day at work, got a couple of big things out of the way and was happy to get out to my street dance class to relax a bit. But this week was not the week for relaxing, oh no no no. Our instructor was in the mood to push us hard so instead of the usual, learn a bit, watch a bit, copy a bit, it was BAM learn this BAM do it, now do it again faster!

Although dance classes like these are awesome (the class pace varies a lot from week to week), I was kind of hoping it was going to be a slower song this week so I could do some running afterward, but I ran anyway. Big mistake.

So, tired and sweaty from dancing, I made my way to the treadmill, convincing myself to do the second mission on Zombies, run!. This was fine until about 20 minutes in when I started to feel slightly queasy. A bit odd as I very rarely get nauseous, even after insane workouts. I slowed down to a quick march and finished the mission, then slowed down and stepped off the treadmill...

"oh god, I'm actually going to throw up"...two steps, deep breath...two more steps...

I shuffled across the gym floor hoping I'd make it to the changing room, jaw clench, stomach contents rising, and an instructor eventually approaches (it feels like everyone in the gym is staring at me by this point)...

"Erm, I feel a bit sick".
"Right lie down, feet up against the wall."
"Is it your first time here?"
"Er, no." (Erm, actually I've been a member for a year and I've run a half-marathon, so put that in your first timer pipe and smoke it!)
"Right, have you eaten something today?"
"Well...(don't admit to the crisps, do not admit to them)...I think I had some crisps a bit too soon before coming."
"CRISPS?! Crisps aren't fuel! How can you expect to get results by eating CRISPS!"
"Er, well yeah, I know"

So he did go on to, more gently, give me his name and tell me I should find him on the gym floor if I felt ill in the future. But oh god the shame. Why did I eat the crisps? Why didn't I just say I'd had a banana?! Why didn't I lambast him for calling me a first timer?!?!

Fortunately I am now fully recovered and had a nice dinner (which involved potatoes in another guise).

Lesson: don't eat crap before working out or that crap will come back to haunt you/haunt the gym floor.

Anyone else ever had any near vom misses or other shameful gym moments?

My first running date

On Sunday I met up with my friend L, who I haven't seen for aaaaages to go on our first ever running date!

So I knew it would be tough running with her, she's very much an all or nothing person so I knew she'd be fast but LITTLE DID I KNOW she's actually already built up to 15km (9 miles), whereas little old me has scaled back to 4 miles!

I'm not sure why I'm so surprised, when L really sets her mind her to something she seriously goes for it.

Anyhow she dragged me round a 4.7 mile river run, definitely upping my pace and forcing me to talk to her most of the way. And truth be told I had "such fun" as she would say AKA bare fun blad!

However one dangerous thought she's planted in my mind is doing another half marathon...and soon. In response to her gentle suggestion continuous arm twisting I'm going to see how I go with running this week (badly probably as I already skipped a run today because it's TOO COLD). If I can handle a week three level of the half marathon training programme I used before, I might just sign up for the Madrid Rock n' Roll half marathon at the end of April...OMGcan'tbelieveIjustwrotethatdownwhyamIevenconsideringthisbleeeuuuurgh!!!

Check with this very blog on Sunday to see just how mental I am. EEEK.

Now and then

Managed to turn my mood around yesterday by scoring a ticket to one of the sold out Sigur Ros London shows. Should be incredible.

But more importantly my work today reminded me how lucky I am to have my health and happiness and of the importance of using your own situation to improve other people's lives.

I hope that focusing on improving my own health and fitness for a while will give me the confidence to be that kind of person, someone who can help other people but in a way that is not detrimental to my mental or physically well-being. Hopefully that isn't too selfish a thing to ask from life.

ANYHOO back to less intense thoughts! Whilst I was running I was thinking how life has changed since I started running and came up with some fairly cool and amusing comparisons...

Music

THEN: "Great song"

NOW:"OMG this is going straight on my running playlist"

Yes I am a terrible indie-loving-wannabe-hipster ;) but never thought my appreciation of music could be extended to a whole new category of "can I run to it". However new albums/aongs now get extra bonus shiny points in my mind for being run-able.

Friends
THEN:  "Hey L, let's spend quality time getting drunk on Halloween" 

That's me on the left...Jack Skellington style. L's costume was "some hot, dead lady" haha.

NOW:


Fingers crossed we get places in the ballot! I am so excited for my second half marathon (whether this one or another) and hopefully running it through lovely, autumnal central London parks.

Lols
THEN:

 

NOW:

Why?

I was going to write about week two of my virtual training group (VTG) but instead I want to ask a question. Why?

Why do I tell myself I'm not hungry but go into Tesco and buy food anyway?

Why do I buy and eat food I don't even really want let alone need?

Why am I like this? Will I be like this forever?

Why can't I just be happy and healthy?

I hope one day I can look back on days like this and feel a success not a a complete failure like today.

The end of January

And so another month passes in another year and I edge ever closer to the grave...but in less melodramatic news my legs hurt from running and body pump which must be a good sign.

So how has month one of year 2013 gone? Let's take a trip back through the blurry mists of time to my 2013 goals and see how they are going:

Weight loss
I have not yet achieved goal one (180lbs) obviously and I'm in the same place I was in three weeks ago. At least it's not a gain.
Lesson? Keep trying, stop buying big packs of things and saying "I'll only eat one now".

Running
I did not attend a local park run last month, to be fair I did neeeearly go one week, but then I stayed in bed. I have started running again and it feels GREAT. I am offically un-mentally fatigued from half marathon training.
Lesson? Get off your bum on Saturday mornings.

Non-running exercise
Have found a possible replacement for my current gym and attended loads of three bodypump (strength) classes and also totally gone to the gym loads. Also I went to my first ever mornign gym class.
Lesson? Keep up the good work you legend.

Creativity
Bought a sketch book. Haven't used it. Have booked a sewing dress-making class. Good progress.
Lesson? Fill that sketch book like a boss!

Languages
Haven't even spoken any German, let alone a class or starting a new language.
Lektion? Eine deutschsprachige Gruppe oder ein Kurs finden. 

Travelling
Erm, nope. Although my parents have suggested I go with them to Tobago this month. Unfortunately I already have plans and, although I love them dearly, a week with my parents and aunt and uncle would drive me insane. Dad has offered me air miles for a city break this year though (he runs all his entire business through a card that collects air miles = super air miles for all!)
Lesson? City break in February?

Sleep
Trying hard with this and doing better than I have done. Although arguably this blog would have posts a lot more frequently if I wasn't trying so hard on the sleep front.
Lesson? Sleep when you are tired, seriously, listen to your body. Do not sleep all weekend and destroy your pattern.

Room
Ahahahaha my room is a tip at moment. Massive pile of laundry was on my bed last night (I was at my parents') and my friend came over for superbowl and crawled under that pile of clothes to sleep. Poor boy!
Lesson? Don't say we can have the superbowl at our flat when you won't be here. Put a weekend aside for side-table painting in Feb, ok this weekend then.


I will report back on Virtual Training Group week 2 in a post tomorrow I think. Exhausted from running Saturday and Sunday then body pump today. Let's just say, week two is not great news but it's not a wipe out.

Toodle pip.

VTG Week 1

Yesterday marked the end of the first week of my Virtual Training Group with PT Mollie and 13 other willing victims friendly participants (including a London-based fitness blogger I love, mainly because her life is wonderful, stylish escapism).

Thoughts so far?

Good for hitting the goals I've set.
Some really friendly, diverse and interesting people taking part.
I like the weekly recipe idea/inspirational thoughts so far.

One problem though is that my goals did not include me calorie counting AKA not eating too much, which I'm really struggling with. Although I lost 1.6lbs this week, I really think that was lucky fluctuation. Although I'm not going to change my weight loss goal to calorie based yet (24/7 calorie counting wears me out!) I think I just need to stay mindful that excess calories = not fulfilling goal no.1 = feeling embarrassed when I weigh in on Mondays.

One goal I am going to change is getting to sleep before 11pm, because jumping in bed at 10:50 and thinking "I am in bed! This totally counts!!" does not, in reality, count. So 11 is changing to 10:30pm.

Yesterday's stats (last week's in brackets 'cause I didn't blog them):

Weight - 192.4lbs (194lbs)

% Body Fat - 29.5 (29.3)

% muscle mass - 35.4 (35.5)

BMI - 26.1 (26.3)

Waist - 33in (no change)

Hips - 44in (no change)

Hoping the small rise in body fat and loss in muscle mass are just ein kleiner blip (yep my adjectives come out German sometimes).

In other news: WHEN WILL IT BE SUMMER? I NEED HEAT AND SUN!!

Anyone else struggling with darkness + rain + wanting to eat like it's time to hibernate?

I can't dance

dance with you baby no more.

But more importantly I can't dance in my dance lessons. Most of the time I ignore this but today it just got to me.

Overall lesson here? Don't go to dance class when you're getting over a head cold that has made you feel constantly dizzy, coz spins plus zero balance equals fail.

When usually dancing I look at the chilled out professional dancer instructor lady and genuinely feel like when we grin at each other she gets that I'm saying "I know I'm bad, you know I'm bad, but this is FUN!". Today I got it into my head that it was just her saying "you are such an awkward giant, you seriously make my day with your laughable attempts at dance".

Truths: I am coldly, tired and just feel sorry for myself, and it is entirely me hating on myself not the instructor.

How I actually feel: I am a awkward giant loser.

Focus on the truths!!

Virtually training

So after mulling over Paleo this week I have come to the conclusion I LOVE BREADY CARBS (omg I luuurve them). And I definitely have a problem with sugar. Though I think this mostly revolves around my inability to sleep.

So I've planned my meals this week to be Paleo and I'm just going to see how the sugar cravings go. I realised one of my favourite healthy snack bars - Nakd Cocoa Loco bar -  is  paleo (I think, it's gluten free but has oats) so that will be my go to when I get desperate!

0% wheat 100% om nom nom

 Last week I was especially bad on the sugar because I got to three gym classes (includig bodypump and spinning, the pain) but consistently failed on the bed before 11pm plan so woke feeling like "GIVE ME CAFFEINE AND SUGAAAAAAR!" No surprise I lost zero weight thanks to this but my gym trips still get a mega-yay, especially because I discovered the Thursday Bodypump instructor is really friendly and pushes everyone in a non-intimidating/terrifying way, so I will be making an effort to gt to her class again.

I'm hoping to curbing the bad sleeping this week as to help with my accountability I'm starting a free Virtual Training Group (VTG) with PTMollie. Not something I've done before but I'm really hoping this will help bring focus to my weightloss and exercise goals that will continue on in to the rest of the year.

Mollie asked us to set 3 to 5 goals to work on weekly during the VTG (which ends 18th March) and reflecting on my 2013 goals I've set mine up as:

1. Lose 1.5lbs a week (aka 14lbs by 18th March)

2. Attend one strength-based gym class a week

3. Get to sleep before 11pm three nights a week

4. Run three times a week

5. Walk to work 3 times a week

The walking to work thing isn't in my previous goals but something I really need to start doing as my work is an easy 40 minute walk from home (which is pretty good for a London commute) and I do feel like a lazy bum when I tell people I get the bus in the morning. 

My stats for starting the VTG (using my body analyser scales and confirmed with online calculators) are:

Height 6ft 0in (obvs)

Weight - 192.4lbs

% Body Fat - 29.3

BMI - 26.1 (so near to healthy range!!!!!)

Waist - 33in

Hips - 44in (0.75 waist to hips ratio = low heart disease risk = #winning...if we ignore how large my hips are...all my junk is in my trunk, yay for pear shapes)
 

Not sure how this week is going to pan out as I'm currently sat on my bum at home, with an awful cold (my sinuses hate me!!) but I'll keep you updated...

Ever tried any form of online training before? I'm really excited for the accountability aspect and cheering others on!

Paleo

Can I do it?

Should I do it?

Will I do it?

I just don't know!!

Erm what iz zis paleo buziness anyway my friend?

So basically you eats like a caveman, no grains, no refined sugars, no dairy, no alcohols.  Basically you eats all the meat and all the veg.

I am now singing Paleo over the song to an old Cheerios advert. Because I am cool.

Pale-oats! Pale-corn!

Pale-rice and wheat!

It's nutritious and delicious

Pale-o-so-good to eat!

Things that are allowed in the Paleo diet = not Cheerios. FAIL.

Drink, booze, sauce, alcohol

[source]

I'm abstaining from it this month.

Two main reasons why - monies and calories.

Also my mum wants to cut down for the calorie reason so we are showing each other some solidarity, AKA moaning at each other when we want a drink and coming up with nice non-drink alternatives (I had an absolutely fabulous apple juice the other night darlings).

P.s. I dreamt about drinking beer the other night...weird

P.p.s The whole trying to sleep at sensible times thing isn't going great, it's gone 5am and I have work tomorrow. Damn.

Hello 2013

So many delicious and delightful hopes and dreams for 2013, and only 12 months until the next year is upon us!

I will admit I may be having a "quarter life crisis". I blame my sister for threatening to travel overland to Australia this year, thus bringing a whole lot of thoughts to the surface....
"I haven't travelled enough! I can't wear a bikini yet! I can't travel without wearing a bikini! I like my job/London life do I really want to travel?! I just don't know blargh! scary! gah!"

So to alleviate myself of this fear and confusion, I've decided to pick out all the things I want to do/areas I want to work on this year and for each make three tiered goals, that I will return to monthly and tick off/revise where appropriate. The levels I have aimed these at are :
1. easyish (I just need to get off my bum and do it)
2. tricky (this will take some effort/organisation/it scares me a little)
3. hard and scary sh*t (self explanatory)

WARNING, LONG LIST AHEAD

Let's do this! *gulp*

Weight loss
1. Get to sub-180lbs.
2. Lose a stone by my birthday (20 March).
3. Reach goal weight of 168lbs this year (12 stone).

Running
1. Attend local parkrun once a month (ties in well with my sleeping goals as this is early Saturday mornings!)
2. Run a sub-60min 10k race.
3. Run another (hopefully sub-2.5hour) half marathon.

Non-running exercise
1. Find somewhere to replace my current gym - whether another gym or regular classes somewhere
2. Attend one strength class  OR a new sport (or one I haven't done in ages) a month
3. Book a triathlon race (race can be next year but training must start this year).

Creativity - This definitely fell by the wayside in 2012!
1. Buy a sketching and writing book and finish it
2. Attend at least one sketching (scary) and sewing class (not scary but expensive)
3. Make a dress (that looks nice!) using my sewing machine

Languages - another passion that died in 2012
1. Start a German class/find a German speaking group
2. Start a new language (and decide which one!)
3. Go on holidays that involve me speaking German and the new language

Travelling
1. Go to at least 3 cities in Europe I haven't been to before (including Paris, can include UK cities) 
2. Arrange California trip with J OR (if J chickens out) organise first ever skiing trip with friends
3. During October sit down and have an honest conversation with myself about how work and life is going and if I want to start seriously organising a world trip/year in Australia

Sleep
1. Be in bed and go to sleep at 11pm at least two week nights a week
2. Go to sleep at 11pm at least one night a weekend
3. Go to a pre-work exercise class

Room
1. Paint side table
2. Buy a wardrobe
3. Move piano from parents' to flat

Now just to hit the Publish button...

Goodbye 2012

You were certainly a mixed year.

On the running and weight loss front I would say you were 80% awesome. I lost around a stone and ran (most of) 13 whole miles, boom tings!

And I did that in a year with two incidents of a hospitalised family member (both fine now thankfully), two crazy boy situations (crazy boys are a new experience for me) and the first year of my favourite job to date.

So what do I want from 2013?

Short answer: LOTS.

Long answer? I probably need another post to cover all of this... *breaks into a (less bratty) rendition of  Veruca Salt's "I want it all" from Willy Wonka*


Anyhoo, for now 2013 so far equals sparklers!

Drunkenly waving fire sticks around - the best way to bring in a new year

What a sporting year

I'm just watching the Sports Personality of the Year awards and looking up at my half marathon medal. In case you hadn't noticed it's been the ultimate sporting year.

Dear grandchildren,

I was in London for the olympics, and I went to them and saw Federer playing on Wimbledon centre court, Ellie Simmonds winning a gold medal, and the prime minister handing out medals. 

Ellie was here

And a girl who came from a city I will always love, my university town, won the heptathlon with style and grace.

Jess Ennis in Sheffield

It was incredible. The atmosphere in London became so joyful and united that people actually talked and smiled at each other on the tube [they definitely won't believe that bit!] and I got to walk passed the olympic rings and then paralympics agitos on Tower Bridge every single day.

I even made friends with the creepy mascot!

In the same year, Andy Murray won the US Open and I stayed up with my sister in a sports bar to watch it happen...then I crawled in to work the next day still grinning.

My favourite sport, my favourite player

And before the Olympics even happened Bradley Wiggins (Wiggo the great) had already won the Tour de France, something people said an English man would never do. And Andy Murray had got in to the Wimbledon final. We cried when he made that final and we cried with him when he didn't win. 

The other hero in yellow

Finally, dearest grandkids, that summer I ran. I stuck to a training plan and I ran until I could run 13.1 miles. Then I did what every fat girl dreams of, I got a half marathon medal and I became a runner.

In my own yellow vest, hands off Wiggo

Run to the Beat half marathon round up

So five whole weeks ago tomorrow I got up in the morning and ran a half marathon.

It was one of the toughest things I've done and I still feel a bit burnt out when I think about running, mainly because every agonising second still remains crystal clear in my mind....

(warning, this is a long post!)

The 28th October came round and it was cold. Today was the day winter decided to declare itself and I wasn't really ready. The only running leggings I have are knee length (I've since bought a full length thick "winter" pair!) and I had to wear the thin, and oh so attractive, bright yellow t-shirt the people at Nike had sent me as my top layer. Although I had a long-sleeved t-shirt underneath it was still cold enough that I made the journey to The Dome wearing my baggy old yoga trousers and a thick jacket over the top.

After taking off my outer layers and dropping off my bag as late as possible (badly organised bag system considering this is a £45 race, but I'll come back to that) I made my way to my start pen - the 2:00 - 2:30 time group. I can honestly say I wasn't nervous at this point, just cold, SO cold. My biggest worry was that I would have to have lots of toilet stops if the cold kept up - for the science fans when it's cold your blood vessels contract to get away from the skin surface which increases the pressure of blood filtering through your kidneys = you need the loo more!

Anyhow our group shuffled across the line to some pounding music (this was Run to the Beat after all). I (sadly) made a mental note that I was the largest (heaviest) looking girl there, because I like to torture myself with such thoughts (bad habit), although it kind of made me feel proud that I knew I was just as fit and prepared as any of these slim ladies.

The first 3 miles really went something like this in my head:
"So cold!"
"Must speed up, feel very sluggish."
"No, can't do speed, too cold."
"Ok let's just hope it gets warmer."
"Keep moving, movement makes warm."

There wasn't much scenery and the music stages were far enough apart that there wasn't much to think about apart from the cold between. But I got to just passed 3, started to warm up and there was a hero-lady cheering her head off with a sign reading: "GO RANDOM RUNNER!" which brought a massive grin to my face.

From there the run got a bit more interesting (and warmer) as we did a U-loop into the old Woolwich docks and passed some nice old buildings and the Woolwich royal artillery museum. However, as we came back to the 4 mile sign I noticed something...a hill. I'd faced a couple of hills in my Moor Park 10k the last two years so I knew I could get up it at a steady pace, but little did I realise this hill was a  mile-long hill! In the end the only thing that kept me going was repeating the mantra "earn mile 5, earn mile 5".

At mile 5 we reached the top of the hill and had a water station and another stage with some bhangra drummers at the top. The sixth mile was blissfully flat and I managed a great 10k time of 1:05:31. From then on things got, erm, orange to dark orange....as the map of my pace shows...

the wind down

I got to nearly mile seven and turned the corner to a lovely steep downhill...and then turned the corner to a horrific, again steep, uphill. A woman next to me at this point just went "SH*T". Following that I plodded on but honestly never really felt comfortable again.

At the mile nine marker we entered Greenwich Park and the music got significantly better, as well as the stages being closer together. This got me to the mile 10 marker, where I walked/hobbled a bit, then I saw the 2:30 pacers run passed and thought OH NO YOU DIDN'T, there was a hill and I ran flat out down it to get passed those pacers, fortunately at the end I saw my work cheer team (there to cheer people running for the charity I work at) which massively lifted my spirits. My colleagues were just before the 11 mile marker and I yelled "hi!", grimaced grinned and waved at them all as i went passed.

A few minutes later and there was another no-stages, no-scenery stretch and all my energy disappeared. This was probably my lowest point. I felt tired, hungry, cold, I just wanted to bloody finish, I thought I would cry, then I thought I didn't have the energy to cry, so I just walked. Half a mile later and I saw the 12 mile marker coming up and realised this was it, this was the last mile, and I had to run it. 

Forcing myself to run again was just horrible pain, but as I turned the final corner and saw the crowd around the finish line I knew I was going to make it. Next thing I knew four of my friends jumped out in front of me and I high-fived them as I used every last bit of energy to keep running to the finish line. At this point I was just floating in some other place.

Is that a finish line or am I hallucinating?

Finally, 2 hours and 33 minutes later, I crossed the finish. A sense of disbelief flooded through me as I got my medal. I wanted to cry, I wanted to hug my friends! However I wouldn't be seeing my friends for another hour or so (don't read on if you want to avoid grumpy Katie)...

Nike error one - getting timing chips that runners have to reach down and unlace their trainers to give to you - I hate to think how many runners nearly fainted reaching down to do this minutes after crossing the finish line, I thought I was going to.

Nike error two - totally understaffing the bag drop so that runners have to stand still for 30 minutes, queuing in a cold shed to wait for bags. I actually saw a girl faint in the queue, she came around quickly but then sat there clutching her head for several more minutes, luckily her friends were with her because the St John's ambulance crew took some time to get through - I really hope she recovered ok.

Eventually I got home, and got to the restaurant near my flat where my friends were waiting and ate some AWESOME food.

Since the race I have done two things:
1. Bought warmer running kit
2. Decided never to enter a Nike organised race again (their British 10k was also badly organised)

However I want to finish on a positive note and just say how proud I am of myself and even though it was painful I know it is something I want to do again, and do better (maybe even a marathon one day? We'll see).

Run to the beat half marathon

Possibly the hardest thing I've ever done.

I am so happy I have done this for myself. I never thought I'd be proud in my physical abilities but today I'm proud of both my fitness and determination.

I remember a friend running the Sheffield half marathon when we were at uni and I thought "that is something I will never do". I hadn't run a single step in my life. I was overweight and lived my third year between soaring highs and horrible lows of emotion, making me comfort eat which, on top of the stereotypical student drinking, meant I was overweight and completely unfit.

I am still overweight, but today I had enough fitness to get myself around a 13.1 course and with a respectable time. I can't express what it means to me when I look back at that frustrated and unhappy third year student, or even to the girl who did my masters course. I really feel running has brought me a strength and confidence that I never had before, it's had a therapeutic value beyond measure - I original thought when I finished this race I would feel like "Ha! Take that haters!" but I find I simply don't care anymore. I've run over and passed everyone who ever told me I was fat, everyone who took the piss when I couldn't physically achieve something. And now I only have a deep sense of pride and contentment in myself.

It only took me 2 hours 33 minutes to gain a lifetime's worth of self-belief.